Southern California
He's off to tennis camp
Overheads, new friends, the fresh scent of Wilson cans
Bret get gets him a Maxim mag
When they're down in town
Looking at the girls inside
When the other boys are leaving on a practice round
He slides it out
From under the couch
With shaking grip-stained hands

Hey bud
The ball's in your court
Or maybe not, she chopped the drop shot short
Yanking you up to the net
From the page
Dash to the baseline
The boys are back on break time
Forfeit the mag, you can't win them all
Plus Jimmy's got a date with the bathroom stall
Men are being made in Cabin A

Sean's the only other kid
Who ever has to shave
Misses fine black hairs on his jawline every other day
Ten beds to a cabin
They're complaining of a smell
Kid don't care much
Reading Sabriel in his bunk
But the boys are raising hell
Pajamas sweat-soaked
When he wakes
But it don't ring any bells

Hey bud
You're going down with love
Your doubles match alongside Alison
The hottest chick in the camp
"Whose dick did you suck to get that"
The boys say
Dash to the baseline
A lob's aloft there's no time
Your rackets kiss and fall
Never seen a girl
Pissed like this before

Californication
Boomboxing on the breeze
Other kids hanging up his clothes
On the fences as they please
Sweating on the courts
Shaking as he sees
Cans of Axe© in Ricky's hands
Spraying AC/DC tees
And his sleeping bag
And Alison is looking

Last night of tennis camp
The kid's packing his bags
Thinks he's free but suddenly
They gather 'round his bunk
They turn and pull down their pants revealing
Cracks of ass
They swear, they say
He's so damn gay
They spray him down with Axe©

Hey kid
So you want to be a man
Better send your mom to Longs
To get some spray cans
And what about the other kids you ask

Well, Bret is gonna find his old man's mags
Ricky's brother's gonna crack him a beer
Sean will catch a couple punches for his weird-ass stache
And all are pumped for tennis camp next year